When I was a kid I dreamed of being a Paleontologist. I loved dinosaurs. I wanted to do what they did in “Jurassic Park”. Then it turned out I was shit at science.
When I was in high school I wanted to be famous. I wanted to be an actor. Then I my sophomore year of high school Columbine happened and I wrote a piece about it. I started getting a lot of attention for it and ended up speaking in after school programs on the importance of knowing where your kids are and having programs for them to go to.
So I thought I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted to write hard hitting pieces that helped people or changed minds. I wanted to influence people positively.
In college I decided I wanted to write about world crisis situations. I read everything I could get my hands on when it came to The Holocaust. I started taking classes like ” 20th Century Genocide” and “Literature of the Holocaust”. I wrote my theses paper on the Cambodian Genocide.
And then I wanted to see all the places I was learning about. It felt like if I went there I might understand it differently. How can you really learn about something when you are so far removed from it?
When I graduated from college I decided to keep my serving job and just travel. I went to Germany, I went to Cambodia, to India, to everywhere I could. 10 years passed in a blink of an eye and I had no career to speak of. I just had thousands of miles under my belt and a better understanding then some of how the world works.
I started to think I could make a (semi) career out of travel blogging and social media management but I was approaching 30 at the time of thinking this and wasn’t sure how to go about it. I had no idea how online journalism worked. I went to college when they were still thinking print journalism would last.
I started working in radio. I have been working on events and doing digital media sales as well as starting social media management within one of the biggest media companies in the USA.
I am being offered great opportunities and spend the time I am at home with wonderful coworkers and friends.
However recently I have discovered something about myself that was quite surprising. I have no career ambition. I have no need to find a career. I have no drive to make a lot of money or move up any corporate ladder or even make a name for myself at all.
I used to think I needed a great job where I would make all sorts of money and people would know who I am. I thought I would feel weird because I never wanted to have kids or to get married. I felt like maybe I would have to give in to what society tells you you should want or I would feel lonely and left out.
Then I started traveling more. I realized how big this world was and how there was a place for my wants and needs and new dreams. Maybe not the typical dream but I have never been so content in my life as I am now.
I see other peoples lives and I often compare mine to it. I am not saying these people aren’t happy but the basics : work, marriage, kids, 2 week vacations, it simply doesn’t appeal to me. I feel happy and free. I feel like anything can happen and it often does.
I will be 33 in October and I have learned to stop setting expectations for myself. Everything will happen in time. Success doesn’t mean how much money you make or how fast you accomplish something. I think success is finding what makes you happy and going for it. I want to live a life I look back on and can’t think of one thing I missed out on.
What was the point of this? Well simply that who you are changes and don’t be afraid if you aren’t where you thought you should be in life or if you want things that seem a little bit out of the ordinary.